Turned Down

Out of the blue, today, I went to check application outcome… I guess that it is obvious ehat my outcome is…

Anyway, my resolve got shook… Luckily I still have Southampton, thanks goodness… Else what will happen to me? Well, besides, my mom still don’t give up on Nottingham, wonder why… As the advisor told me, Southampton is better in comparison…

Ok, sum up what I did recently…
Bought 2 sets of wiimote at rm200 each…
got myself super smash bros. brawl with the help of Lawrence, around rm180…
Some employment jokes…
Finished inazuma eleven game 1 and 2…
Finished few anime… Most are seinen lol…
Bored at chi hwa…
Aimless tea time…
Read manga, where bleach covers most… Also enjoyed the bidirectional unrequited love from kimi ni todoke…
Spacing, not much…
Registered for Skype, Google+, changing e-mail address (lame msn)…

It’s quite a lonely, sad life, I guess…

I wonder what’s in for me tomorrow? Looking forward to holidays… Oh yeah, I remembered why k-on is good to watch… Carefree but yet life with dilemma, and resembles our secondary school life…

Escaped

Phew, finally, on 2/4, I successfully escaped from a “torturing centre”.  I bid that life farewell, carefree enjoying my life, having rejuvenation (since they, the demon-wannabe, tortured me endlessly) and yeah, paying visit to mother school during sports day.

But in simply, I want to mark down my feeling and experiences as a teacher.  At On the first day, I went there with desire for new experiences.  Though I was able to endure the nuisance, the following days were ridiculously annoying.

I remember.  I put much effort in preparing myself to get ready for the challenge, and the next second, I was instant-killed.  I wonder if I acted similar before, if so, fellow teachers, I am truly sorry.  *Bowed perpendicularly*

My work? Writing teaching resolution or something like that for every teaching day, preparing homeworks (usually, there are doodles, sometimes ancient Chinese letters, but few do give you good response, probably 1 out of 4), correcting their work, teach them to write and read, and some weird jobs.  You won’t want to know what they are.  Two words, nuisance.  *mimic-ing Philoctetes*

Routine?
Assembly = Spacing out. 
Library session = Disaster. 
Lesson = Nuisance.
Recess = Disturbance.
Roll Call = DIY, no one would bother.
Collecting Homework = Harsh.
Examination = Copying Homework.
Toilet Request = Playing Session.

Well, after all these 50+ days, I survived.  I brewed killing intent, I got terrible headaches, I got high blood pressure, I got my lips broke and bleeded, I got average salary of RM600, I even got p***ed…

What for? I dunno.  At least, that is in the past.

Sandakan 1-Day Trip

I guess I should write down this event.  From RDC to ENCORE to English Tea House, I enjoyed a lot, I mean a whole lot.  Really, it hurts me more than you ever did.  I guess I got too attached to you guys, my friends.

I really wanna cry out loud for my feelings for you lot.  Those lousy words from my post before, I can’t do those.  Something like enduring the huge gap loneliness, it’s impossible for me now.  Sigh, why do departure hurt so much?

I hope things will last, as we watched our time capsule together, in the future.  To thy whom depart from us, 祝你一路顺风.  This song would describe my feeling the best.  Crying desperately deep in my heart, I always pray for our future, and else, anything that’s good.

(ひ)さしぶり(久しぶり) or something like that…

Regret to say, I am lazy to post something, but I’ll try my best…

First of all, about my last year resolution, ALMOST all of them came true, except the adv. maths part… Well, loss is loss.  I did hope I got an A2 for it, at least, since it’s related to my dream.  For other subjects, I do feel remorse.  Teachers did their best to teach us, put we disappointed them instead.  Really sorry.  That’s what I think.

And for university, I guess the word dilemma describes the best.  Not much to say, but waiting is so intolerable.  I keep getting weird dreams…

For part-time work, I work as a primary school teacher.  Guess what, it is coming to the end this month.  Finally, I am going to survive it.

Oh yeah, for those who know (2 people in the world only), I conveyed my feeling but failed.  Oh well, I never expect anything in return.  Quite an experience, I must say.

To be continued…

Even though I have time, I only watch anime and play NDS emulation. Inazuma Eleven is great. I should spend some time on my blog though.

2011 Teachers Day & Parents Day

25/6/2011 – Teachers Day
Uhh, the last time of Teachers Day in secondary school life. Our whole class took part in the drama presentation. It is titled “The Battle Between Sung And Lai”. It is a comedy, and a remix of Judge Pao and Sung Sai Kit television series. Well, I am the defendant in this case. I am being accused of bullying, or somehow, torturing a woman. LOL, in other word, a banana (Chinese who prefer Western style) torturing a woman. After a month of practice, we stand right on stage. Thise experience is quite enjoyable and fun too. Not to mention all those practice time, they were mostly in school during the holidays.

Well, since this is the last year, I guess I will never ever join this celebration as a student anymore, but as a graduated. Unlike past few years, I think this year has much more presentations than the extra games or students’ regards. Well, it can be quite bored if you just read all those text. Besides, there isn’t those annoying trial run, but they do help in some places, or else why would they do that so many times!

In simply, I enjoyed it.

26/6/2011 – Parents Day
Ah, the last in six years of Yu Yuan life. ever since Junior 1, I’ve been skipping this day, not much memories of this day, since it only lasted for 5 to 10 minutes. Basically, all I remembered is teacher will comment on my results, nothing else, except that nervous and anxiety feeling…… This year, it is kinda different. Being a Senior 3 means I am going to choose and take my own path of occupation, teacher sure did give some good suggestions, when I told her my hope. Well, she’s the Public Relation teacher in Yu Yuan after all. Her analysis is good, but I still insist on going overboard, if the conditions are favourable. Anyway, I got 3rd out of 18 with an average mark of 81.67. I got A’s for all the science subjects, however, my Chinese and BM are still bad, while my English Grammar standard dropped, duh……

Anyway, the last time is gone, forever……

End of 2011 Mid-Year Holidays

Finally, I am free, no more tragedies from now on, I guess.

Uhh, the camp, not much feelings since I didn’t put much effort or work in it. Reasons? Well, it is a living camp, not a training camp, but it worked out like it is a training camp…… Scoldings everywhere. Duh…… I think this would brew more hate and negative feelings for the kids, as opposed of its original purpose. Everyone scolds the campers, taking it for granted. I admit that they did do something wrong, but guidance should be given, instead of yelling or punishing, no? They’re still kid, child, junior or whatever, they won’t understand too much if you don’t give enough explanation, so do I, a teenager. Well, I do hope it will improve in the future, if I am still here……

Ah, I found out that our school’s Leadership Camp theme for this year is quite popular, one of the group even included the theme in their group propaganda……

After Camp, To Tragedy

Well, the camp is over, nothing left but memories.

31/5/2011 (Monday)
The first day after camp, we BSMM were invited to give a first aid training to our school’s Boy Scouts. The talk was quite simple, I was given the task to look over and to share what I know about bleeding and wounds. The day before, I wiki-ed the bleeding and found out that whether direct pressure or indirect one won’t help much. Instead, calling ambulance is the best move. I was in the senior section and the talk is brief, since they need to cover CPR, bleeding, check body and bone fractures within one and a half hour. And yeah, that’s the end, and three bandages from St. John is lost, from the updates I got Thursday. Noon, we had lunch at Pizza Hut for RM 10 each. We enjoyed the meal and chatted for awhile. I think there’s more understanding between committees, but still, just part of them, not all committees are there. Later, we got back to school to help out the Environment Beautifying Group, consisting of Jennifer only. Pathetic. We helped to move the bonsai which was lying below the water reservoir behind senior block. Yucks, there were corpse of dead lizard, wasted cooked rice, forks, moss, and some plant’s “amputation”. We cleaned up what we should, I left the rest to Boy Scouts, since they’re the only society that take their meals there. Then, we translocated the aluminium tin collector from canteen to junior block. I got stains on my jeans, and wounds on the back of my palm. At last, we’re done.

1/6/2011 (Tuesday) ~ 4/6/2011 (Saturday)
The beginning of June. What lies ahead, waiting us to seek, we don’t know. First came the choir challenges. We had our practice throughout the whole week. It is a tragedy, is what I would think. We sang Keranamu, Jambatan Tamparuli and 凤阳花鼓. Starting from today, every 2 days, our class have our basketball playing uhh I mean training, which is for the inter-class basketball tournament. The ball isn’t inert after all, they’ll bounce. Then at night, we watched the Chinese Orchestra special performance, I don’t have any comment on that though. But some lovey-dovey just conduct some electrostatic to me, haha. I think both of them sure are blushing. Ok, until Saturday, we had finally gotten so far in this challenge. All S3A volunteered to act as a light tower for the audience. Well, it’s weird, as somebody keeps asking you that if this door is opened for exit or something like that. Heck, we were need to put on those failure camouflage before we’re on stage. Another bad thing is we were need to standing stood on the stage for nearly half an hour, before that, we were standing all the way to stage. My legs collapsed after all those humiliations, I barely able to stand. Duh. They say it was an 1Malaysia set song, but why Kadazan not Indian? LOL. To be honest, there do have one point of doing these, gathering with my friends. We wandered at the Pasar Malam for some snacks around 5pm. Second round at KFC around 11pm. Heh, that’s all I guess, for this choir. A whole day stinky, that’s it.

5/6/2011 (Sunday)
Today, I can finally relax, no more choirs. XD Freedom, ah. I am still not used to driving yet, and one more week school will start. I part of me really hope to drive to school this new semester, but that means I am not going to take the bus anymore. 5 years and a half. Duh. Half more year then there will be no more school uniform for us. Half year more there will be no more secondary school life. Half year more, I will be no longer a senior student. Time do flow fast. Remind me of the Chocobo’s Dungeon on Wii, you prefer forgetting good memories (ie. school life)or remembering bad memories (ie. remaining time)? I dunno. I hate to make decision. Unless I know the path beyond the decision. Nothing will be sure, I could only seek blindly where my ideals lie……

2011 12th SBH/Y/4 Unit Camp

Huh, just gotten out of camp, uneasy.

27 / 5 / 2011 – Last day of exam and the day for preparations……
After the BM exam, crapped one, duh, the choir preparation, I’m kinda regret of it now…… And just skip that part, it doesn’t worth mentioning, as the lyrics are like saying vulgars.

Ah, camp, yeah, the last time of camp during middle school life. Arrived at 1.35pm, I start messing around the committee action room. Half of the tables are arranged by me, before others arrived. Checking around the room for male campers and lecturing hall, wandering, and soon, one by one appear in front of my eyes. We started to run the game program, not much, but fun. Filling up tanks, playing water, school “snooker” (the key for the toilet were thrown up and hung onto the tree you can see around most school, the one which is the habitat to a lot of ants and bees), taking things out from storeroom, etc. Eventually, the start of the meeting and dinner. Dinner, the economic dish from the pasar, ended up ordering too much, and I pay for it…… RM12, my wallet was left with 30 sen. The camp song pratice, which is quite good, stall the meeting for a short time. Meeting starts, nothing too much oo say about, but generally, it is fun.

28 / 5 / 2011 – First day
Yeah, one of the song is the chinese song “First Day” and LOL, it is a fast-tempo-ed song. Luckily this was not the camp song (orignially it is). The start of all program, Faz rushed up here by noon, by the time we finish our lunch. Courses, for the whole day, but I do think committee should stay in the lecturing hall, since committee should also learn. Not really much to say about, but I found Faz’s questions are always based on word description and meanings. And during wee hours, not the wii hours I am looking forward to, occurs the tragedy. The activity team did do some great jobs, but I admit we focused too much on these activities. Other than these, not much feelings actually but depressed. Then staying up late until 4.30pm, I slept until 6pm, ah, I was paralyzed for 15 minutes by my lack of sleep.

29 / 5 / 2011 – The camp end eve
Today, a whole day of fun actually. The competitions are fun but I admit I didn’t do much preparations. Mid way, I drove Faz car to another parking lot, and yeah, I think my driving experiences have improved. I wonder why, everybody is saying I’m sleepless and tired looking, even though I felt energetic and usual during daytime. Then the game, just imagine the boredomness of transport. That night, talent night and cam cam show, is good.

30 / 5 / 2011 – Last day
Uhh, woke up late even though I slept from 12.45am to 7am. The scene reappears, just like last year, all boys woke up late. The prize awarding scene, the interactive games and blah, the end.

Well, I can’t brew the feelings out, I will add in sooner or later.

Further feelings……
After all of these, I looked back into my inbox, which recorded the message from the week before the camp to today. Ah, I didn’t done so much things, really. All I do is just edit and paste, adjustment and reminder. These made no much changes in the camp, I think. Waking up late for today, too. I wonder why? Perhaps the sleepless from before was gone. But, still, uneasiness, complexity, confusion, the feeling of camp is still burning inside of my heart. I missed my fellow committees, who brings me so much fun, doing works together and staying up late for the night. Fellow campers too, they whom made me feeling my last year in school, I missed their sounds, their funny moments, all of them, are like they are inscribed in my mind, they won’t fade, but I think they might, who knows? Last year’s feelings, there are residues residing in the deepest part of my heart, I guess forgeting something that is so much to myself isn’t easy. Huh, and so, fellow X Youth 4-ians and teacher, thanks for all your supporting and caring, my leading era is almost the end, half way more then I can’t stop my job as the vice-president, which I don’t deserve it. Well, I have a dilemma about this statement, for a moment. …… I think I brew too much of these feelings, time does pass quick, at the end, nothing could be changed, there are no integration but differentiatioon among fellow committees, but I still hold on that belief, someday, they can stand strong, working together to the same goal……

Let this memories, always selep inside my heart, eventually I would forget, maybe, around adulthood, but my heart is still here, as well as this diary post, the memories will keep intact inside my heart, this is part of my ideal……

May……day?

Well, well, rumors about this mayday is still spreading, myself don’t really believe in that. Even if it is true, I just want to live happily, simply and gratefully. As Mr. Hong says, don’t take things for granted. But enjoy them instead. This is what I thought. even if we might be wiped out in an instant, but I enjoyed my life, I have no regret, or so…… Well be optimistic……

Wow, time is passing fast. Just awhile ago, the beginning of the year was before my eye, whether illusion or real, time is passing. But I somehow feel contented, even with some disappointment or sorrow, I enjoyed myself in my class. Everyone in my class is like a family, we had joy, we had fun, all together, by ourselves. Haha, but still, time is passing TOO fast, and there’s still a lot of chapter in Bio and Adv. Maths, heck both haven’t even started Book 3, uhh, anxiety…… Others are progressing well, I think…… and UEC, less than 200 days more…… What should I do? I lost all my confidence in Maths…… Duh……

And, the unit camp in school is just turning worse, that’s my opinion but, with no enthusiasm, nobody cares about the camp…… Just by today, I finally heard everything is done prepared, but I am doubtful about it. Well, just believe in them. Ah, the examinations, uhh, worried……

On the Road

18/4/2011 – The JPJ test…

Well, finally, I got to sit for the long awaiting JPJ test, which took half of my school day. Wearing PE T-Shirt, jacket and school trousers, I waited for the arrival of the JPJs. After the registration, the test began. The first three parts were easy, the problem is the on the road test. JPJs often get mad while waiting you drive slowly from the start to the end. Well, I think I am just being unlucky. The examiner got mad at me, perhaps being tired or something. But I just feel that my test result is going to be insecure as long as I kept that speed, heck 40~50kmph, what did he want? Luckily, at the end, I succeed.

23/4/2011 – The arrival of the license…

After the afternoon BSMM interyouth meeting, my mom come and fetched me, along with my P License, yay! I drove all the way back home, from Sung Siew, without the P stickers. How bold am I……

30/4/2011 – Ah…… So I remember why I don’t want to drive in the first place. It si because the ugly nature of human on the road. They are exposed everywhere, on the car, out the car, EVERYWHERE!
And heck, after finish my lunch with parents, I was given the chance to drive around. And before all started, when I removed the car from the parking slot, I bumped into the van parked beside me. Ahh, the absolute and opposite command from both my parents are driving me crazy. Duh, I give up to fight back when they kept saying me, if I said it, they will I am being disobedient and so on. Ah, huma do deserved to be dominated, that’s what I feel sometimes. Pessimistic, I do.